It's a metaphor, duh

A small thing really bothered me. I did some journaling and reflecting (thanks, Therapy!) and realized this small thing represents pretty much everything that I find soul-crushing about teaching. So yeah, it actually does make sense that it's bothering me so much. 

Now to try to express that to a new supervisor (why can't they keep someone who knows me?) without crying too much. 

PS- how much crying is too much with a supervisor you've only known for a month? Asking for a friend. 

Almost 9

Tucked in my 8 year old one last time. Tomorrow she'll be 9!

Desoto Falls

This weekend we went camping with Korra's best friend and her family at Desoto Falls near Cleveland. It was only about an hour and a half drive and our campsite was just a few steps away from the creek. It was nicely wooded and had lots of big rocks to sit on our climb on and the two awesome waterfalls were each less than an easy mile hike. The girls loved playing in the creek (ok, do did some of the adults). It was Korra's friend's first camping trip and I think we can call it a success. 

Communication Boards

Yesterday, my students made communication boards like the character in the book we're reading uses since she can't speak or write. Today I gave them a secret message and they had to get their partner to guess what it was by only using their communication board. Every student was actively engaged, having fun, and building empathy for the whole activity. It was the highlight of my week. 

Pharmacy Tears

Nothing like crying in the grocery store pharmacy at 5pm on a Tuesday. After all, this is my third trip to the pharmacy for this particular prescription and I had just waited in line for 45 minutes to be told that there's just "some sort of glitch" that is making this prescription $300+ dollars a month. And it's not that we couldn't afford it (it would be very unpleasant, but we could), but a) that we shouldn't have to and b) no one can tell me how to fix this. 

Too much at once

This afternoon I had a Zoom training about gender inclusivity that started at 11:30. My students were in my room eating lunch until 12 and then it took longer than expected to get them home or to the Friday afternoon program so I was trying to manage my students and participate in my training simultaneously for about an hour. I had less than 5 minutes of uninterrupted training time before Korra came into my room sobbing (it was the first day of the afternoon program so she was feeling scared/overwhelmed). Once I got her settled, it was time to skip out of my first training to jump on a Zoom for my teaching outdoors session and then jump back on the gender Inclusivity training before picking up Korra and then making some less-than-positive parent phone calls. Of course, this is all after I taught for 4 and a half hours. 

Is it really that surprising that I went to refill my Zoloft prescription and buy two pints of Ben and Jerry's immediately after school?

Skinny Cat

On Mrs Reynolds' vet bill, they had her weight for each of her appointments over the last 4 years. In 2017, she weighed over 15 pounds. Now, she's down to 10!

The city has been painting over some graffiti in our area. When we drove past one of these newly cleaned up places today and Korra said,

"I guess they've been hard at work making some people's lives a little less joyful."

Mrs Reynolds

Second $300+ vet visit for Mrs in the last 3 months. The excessive scratching is just allergies even though she's an inside cat these days. Thankful that she's fine and that this kind of bill isn't as painful as it once would have been for us. 

Negative #2

Second weekly COVID tests and Korra and I are still negative. Breathing a sigh of relief (especially after I sent 3 kids to the nurse today for COVID-ish symptoms). 

Delta Depression

I'm really struggling. COVID seems never-ending. It's so scary and frustrating and sad. 

So this morning I'm drinking Highland Grog coffee (thanks, Mom and Dad) from my It Could Be Worse Mug (thanks, Laura) and reciting the phrase "in this moment, all is well."

Last night as I was tucking Korra into bed she said that when she thinks about the past, sheer feels sad and when she thinks about the future, she worries so she's going to try to focus on the present. I guess I'll try to do the same. 

Hard day

Today was hard. Big things like COVID and global warming and Haiti and Afghanistan.  Smaller things like students who are mean to each other and feeling overwhelmed by work that needs to be done. It's a lot. I feel really sad. 

Waffle Cake

Korra and I made a cake, cooked it in the waffle maker, and finished it with buttercream frosting. 

Waffles

I made waffles with whipped cream, strawberries, and mini chocolate chips. 

TMNT Jean Jacket

Nate bid on eBay on an embroidered Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Jean jacket from the Coming Out of Our Shell live show. He won. It came in today. It fits him perfectly. He's deliriously happy. 

Free Comic Book Day!

Sharing their love of comic books and draft beer (root beer for Korra). 

Day 3 or 300?

It's only been 3 days of school so far but it feels like it's been 300. Every day is getting smoother but it's still so exhausting. 

The best news of the week? Today we did our weekly COVID test of all staff and a good number of students and we had ZERO positive results!

Unanticipated

I knew I would be tired. I expected and planned for the kids to struggle with focusing, sitting in desks, changing classes, not being able to eat and go to the bathroom whenever they wanted. What I wasn't prepared for was how things that happened in other parts of the building would impact me. When I'm teaching from home, it didn't really matter if other teachers were out, but in the building I get interrupted over add over. People come by to pick up papers, make announcements, or ask me questions. It really threw me off, especially when added to all the other challenges of the day. Hopefully things will go more smoothly tomorrow. Or at the very least, I'll be more mentally prepared for the mild chaos. 

First Day of 4th Grade

Getting ready for next week

The first week of school is always exhausting (and after more than a year of being virtual, I think it might be doubly so), I've done some meal prep this weekend. I baked a batch of zucchini oatmeal blueberry muffins for breakfast and made a big bowl of Mediterranean quinoa salad for lunches plus I've made a lasagna and a quiche for dinners.  Oh, and I made a pan of peanut butter chocolate bars to share with my coworkers. 

All that cooking and baking was actually a nice stress reliever. 

School Mascot

One of my former students welcomed our new kindergartners in the brand new school Mascot outfit, but first, he posed for a picture with Korra. 

Fidgets

I sewed up these fidgets for my students tonight. They don't look like much, but each tube has a marble sewn inside which makes it very satisfying to push the marble around inside the fabric. Hopefully the kids will like them and it'll help them stay focused this year. 

Never have I ever

Today was orientation day for our middle school students. In language arts, we played Never Have I Ever. The best line of the day: "Never have I ever farted in class and blamed it on someone else." Nearly all the other kids got up and I nearly peed myself laughing. Taking this as a sign that it's going to be a great year. 

Hello, Stress

I knew it would come and thankfully it's not terrible but I was/am definitely feeling stressed and overwhelmed today. Tomorrow morning is an optional orientation and I don't really feel ready. Tomorrow isn't long enough to get everything done I need for Monday. 

I'm trying to do things that will help me keep things in perspective and lower my stress level. 30 minutes of floating in the pool. Reading a book in the hammock. Deep breaths. A little yoga. It's going to be ok. 

Ice cream for lunch

Korra has had to sit in my classroom from 7:15 until 4:00 every day this week so for a treat today, we went out for ice cream. The weather was lovely and it was so nice to be out of the building for an hour. 

No kids allowed

Got an email at 5:00 today "reminding" is teachers that the employees of children are not allowed in the building during planning and that alternative childcare should be arranged.  First I've heard of it AND extra shocking since the principal has been taking Korra's temperature each morning this week when we arrive. 

In the past, I would have freaked out, but today, I just replied "I am unable to make childcare arrangements on such short notice. Should I request PTO for the rest of the week?"

I got an immediate response from the principal that I can continue to bring Korra (and an apology that this wasn't communicated earlier). That feels like a win to me. 

The Sweats

Calling parents always makes my armpits so sweaty, even when the calls are pleasant. 

I made 14 phone calls to the parents of my homeroom students this afternoon. I'm teaching a couple of younger siblings to kids I've taught previously and the parents all seemed super happy to have me. 

But still, my pits were soaked. 

Flexibility

One of the ice breakers we did today was about what we learned during the pandemic. I learned to be more flexible (more being key here). I'm starting this school year fully expecting to be remote for a few stretches. I plan to leave school every day with the knowledge that I might not come back the next day if we get a phone call that night that Korra or I have been exposed and need to quarantine. Changing plans is still hard for me, but mentally preparing myself that flexibility will be necessary will help me be much happier. 

Pre-planning Day 1

Korra's best friend's mom also works at Kindezi so they were happy to have the day to play together while we had meetings. The day was long, some of the meetings were boring, but I don't feel overwhelmed at all, which is a a big deal for me. My room is ready (except for that I need 2 more desks and the desks are backordered until September) and I have a rough idea of what I'm going to teach for the first two weeks. Feeling pretty good. 

Time to get up

Getting myself up at 6:15, no big deal.

Getting Korra up at 6:45 after 18 months of sleeping in until 7:30 or later... We're about to see.