More appointments

The dentist needs to see Korra again in a few weeks to get sealants (she can't eat for 3+ hours after getting it done and our appointment was right before lunch today) and we couldn't get Korra's new glasses today.  Also the dentist recommended Korra gets an orthodontist consultation and the optometrist recommended Korra see an eye specialist. So today's 2 appointments just lead to another 4 appointments. 

Appointment Day and Quilt Update

Today Korra and I both have dentist appointments and then Korra has an eye doctor appointment. I'm enjoying a leisurely morning. I did some yoga, read a little, and finished my quilt! It's 102 inches wide and 98 inches long.  I just contacted a lady to do the top stitching! 

Absolute Mess

I logged on with my students at 8:30. We were supposed to be done by 10:45, but at 10:45 we'd only finished our first of four rounds. There were issues with the Zoom room settings that really slowed everything down. The elementary students were supposed to start at 11 and they kept those poor kids on the Zoom call for nearly two hours waiting for the middle school competition to finish. Most of the volunteers had to leave at 1:00 (when both competitions were supposed to be over), so there weren't enough people to run the elementary competition when middle school finally finished at 12:45. They decided to postpone the elementary competition until next week. It was all extremely frustrating. 

My middle school team did well though and placed second, which means we will go to regionals on 2 weeks. 

Reading Bowl competition

Since October, I've been coaching the middle school Reading Bowl team and Korra has been practicing with the elementary team. She's read 9 novels, most of them more than once. We have weekly after school practices where I quiz the kids over and over about trivia from the books and they practice buzzing in as fast as they can. This morning we have our competition over Zoom with other school is the area. I really want the kids to do well, but there's a tiny part of me that would be happy if we didn't... Winning means we go on to regionals and that means we keep practicing after school for a few more weeks. All the same, I'll be cheering on both teams this morning. Korra is really excited and nervous about her first competition. 

Ups and Downs

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I thought that maybe I've been exaggerating how tough the bad days are. I started to think that I can keep doing this. I love this. 

Then I have a day like today. There wasn't even one defining moment, just the fact that the kids' behaviors are totally out of my control. Horseplaying, leaving class, running in the hall, blurting out, playing on their computers instead of working, calling each other games... It's constant and I am absolutely unable to get a handle on it. It makes me feel impotent. Weak. Frustrated. Crazy. Exhausted. Like a failure. 

It's so hard to give myself more grace, more patience, more compassion, but I've got no shortage of opportunities to practice. 

Pick-me-up

Today we began the first of our 2 mid-year assessments. A good percentage of the kids who finished today did really, really well. Huge growth. It made me feel good. 

First Full Week

Assuming nothing crazy happens, this will be our first full week back at school since December 17. Of course, we're doing diagnostic testing, so it still won't be totally "normal" (whatever that means anymore) for 2 more weeks, but I'm hoping just being back in the building consistently for a bit will help the kids (including Korra) feel a little less irritable and a little more at ease. 

Sugar Scrub

I bought this sugar scrub at Target. I love it. Not only does my skin feel super soft and smooth but I smell like roses all day. Highly recommend. 

Old age has its benefits

When Mrs Reynolds was a kitten, she wasn't allowed in our bedroom. Now, at 14 years old, she not only sleeps in our bed AND between us, but she has also moved up to between our shoulders. 

Another Weird Day

Today was our first and only day back in the building this week and it was a half day for students (Fridays always are this year). Naturally, only half our kids showed up so we combined classes to get a little extra planning time. Those things combined to make the kids extra insane. Then, all 4 teachers on my team left a little earlier than the kids in order to attend the funeral if one of our student's parent. I hope it made her feel loved to have us all there. We technically could have gone back into the building after the funeral for tht rest our professional learning time, but since i don't have any meetings or anything I needed to be in the building to complete, I went home to grade my papers. 

Heat but then no heat again

Last night we got a message from the school that the heat was working. About 5 minutes before Korra and I were supposed to leave for school, we got another message that the heat was broken again. Virtual school today. While the changes throw off my groove, I love that I get to put my pajama pants back on, I don't have to handle any challenging student behavior, and I can have a long, relaxing lunch break.  Korra is bummed because she misses friends. 

No Heat

After approximately 5 minutes of school, they realized the heat wasn't working and cancelled school. Most kids hadn't even made it into their classrooms yet. While it was frustrating, it was also pretty awesome to get a free day. I cleaned, made soup, went on a walk, baked banana bread, got caught up on grading, and read my book. Now I'm just waiting for the highlight of my day... My parents should be here any minute!

My Happy Place

"Snowman"

It's been lightly snowing on and off since 1:00. Nothing's sticking to the ground but Korra did make the world's tiniest snowman. 

Cabin Weekend

We're at the cabin for the long weekend. 4 friends were supposed to join us. 2 cancelled out of concern for the weather. The other 2 left early for the same reason. We decided to stay. 1) because I think everything will clear up enough before we need to get home on Monday afternoon but also 2) because getting snowed in at the cabin and being unable to go to work doesn't sound that terrible. 

I'm enjoying reading my book by the fire with a cup of tea (that's a perfect and constant 137 degrees) though Korra sometimes gets bored. I think that boredom will vanish when it starts to snow after lunch today. 

Things that make school harder

Yesterday I had a student tear up her assigment, throw the pieces like confetti and then curl up under her desk because I didn't answer her question fast enough. I feel like that's a metaphor for pretty much everything.

During the same class I had another student refuse to pull his mask over his nose because he "wants to get COVID because I hate school!" and a third student who would not stop barking. When I texted his mom she replied, "tell him to stop" as if I hadn't possibly thought to try that yet. 

This is after my "culture reset" of games/community building and reviewing expectations and consequences. Clearly that worked well. 

Things that made school easier

1) only 3 in-person days this week

2) my planning got moved from the end of the day to the middle of the day so now I can go to the bathroom before 2:30

3) Nate's new job allows him to work from home in the afternoons and also cook dinner

4) there's a 3 day weekend that's just 2 days away

Today was the last virtual day for the students. Hopefully they'll all be back tomorrow and hopefully all our COVID tests are negative.  I say hopefully because going back in person is best for the kids, but I have to admit, virtual teaching is so much easier and less stressful for me. 

Korra hasn't gotten to be around other kids for 25 days. She's so excited to see her classmates tomorrow. 

Burnout

I read this definition today in an article and it feels like what I've been feeling.

Burnout is often a more temporary condition in which an educator has exhausted the personal and professional resources necessary to to the job.

I feel like I'm trying to pour out emotional energy I don't have. I want to have it. I love my job. I want to help these kids. I love these kids and I love teaching, but I feel... dried up. Empty. Drained.  I hope it's temporary. 

Pictures of my daughter

We walked to a brewery this afternoon. I took a lot of pictures of Korra. 

Work From Home Family

Nate has a new job where he works from home every afternoon and all day on Friday. Korra and I have been working from home all week. We've had to get creative. I moved the glider to the bedroom and then propped my laptop in a barstool. Nate took the living room desk and Korra has a desk in her room (although she often chooses to lay on the floor). 

Splurge

I bought myself a $99 coffee mug. I know it sounds insane but hear me out. I like my coffee and tea hot. I usually end up microwaving my drink twice. This mug is temperature controlled. Using an app on my phone I can set the mug to the perfect 137 degrees and it will keep it that way!  I'm so stinking excited. 

Change of Plans

The plan was for teachers to teach from the building from 7:15-3:30 every day for a week while the students joined in via computers. I wasn't too happy about this. Teaching at home has benefits like not having to wear a mask, having better internet connection, and having a separate room for Korra to go into during her classes. I was getting ready to push to be allowed to work from home but a mix up with our COVID tests this morning sent us all home for the rest of the week. The testing company brought PCR tests instead of rapid so we all have to go home until the results come back. Definitely something I'm thankful for!

Ugly Shoes

I went on a walk this afternoon.  Two of my students saw me and started yelling, "Ms B!" When they came over to say hi, one of them said, "I knew it was you because of your shoes."  He didn't say the word ugly, but it was definitely implied that my shoes are not cool.  

Snooze

Had a really hard time falling asleep last night. It was maybe 2am before I finally really slept, so naturally, I hit snooze when my alarm went off. Unfortunately, I didn't really hit snooze and turned my alarm off. I woke up 5 min before Korra and I were supposed to leave the house. We were only 10 minutes late. That's a win in my book. 

Back to School- Gradually

Today was my first teacher work day. Thankfully it was virtual and we only had meetings in the morning. Wednesday I have to go back in the building (both for COVID testing and for teaching) but the students will be virtual. While I would really prefer to teach from home (so I don't have to bring Korra into the building), I'm glad we're gradually easing back into school. 

Cookie Entrepreneur

 Korra set up her Girl Scout Cookie Website, made a QR code, and then created this flyer!